After being given the brief for assignment 1 ,I considered that subject areas that we have been assigned and tried to figure out which one would be the best for me to develop. I have quickly come to the conclusion that Eating Disorders, and more specifically body image, would be the one that I could represent with more understanding and it is a subject that is close to my heart.
Having struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember and I want to explore just what effect that media has on women’s self esteem and body image. I have always had a dislike of my own body and it is only now , as I get older that I am gradually learning to come to terms with the fact that I will never look like the models in the pages of Vogue etc. This has been a long and arduous process, I have struggled with periods of starvation , yo-yo dieting, Atkins diet, diet pills, laxatives , the list goes on and on. All in the pursuit thinness. Why could I not be like the size 0 models that are the perfect vision of loveliness gracing the pages of the magazines that I read? When I failed to attain this revered perfection , I felt a failure, fat, ugly and worthless.
The realisation that it is all an illusion has been slow coming. The fact that these images are not really what models and superstars look like. The fact that this ideal of beauty is ,in fact, impossible to attain.
Knowing how being lied to in this way makes me feel as a woman, I am interested in finding out what other women feel about photographic manipulation and how it effects the way in which they look at themselves and the way in which we judge other people who fall short of this standard. I will ask them to write me a small note on the way it makes them feel and use these responses to back up images that I will take of myself. I want these images to reflect the real me, untouched by photo-shop, to try and resist the urge to smooth out the skin, to cut out a bit of body fat. These images and quotes will then be used to create a photo-book which I will present as the final artefact for assignment 1.